siting here at 5 am nothing to do thinking about life and how its gonna be... damm dissapointed in my life, thinking how how the future would be in mylife 10 years from now... would i succeed in life. would i gain my dreams? would i gain my empire of my dreams? to have a big house....to have a big house which surrounded with nice green grass with nice sunflowers surrounded it...i know if i work really hard, if i appreaciate everdrops of sweat of coz i know. money buys everything..but money dont buy me something what i really want now... i know i cant get something that i want now. thats why im always down now.... i came to a point that if i cant really get her den it's ok i'll jz accept the failure in me. i will try hard to get her. i will never give up on here...even she tells me i got no single chance on her i will still be he good fren call her bring her out n have fun...but i think i cant do it cz i will hurt her more n its painfull i know.....so hard la... how? lidat la den how summore.

sad sad sad sad sad...so sad. n im sick with my ear!

does she think of me? i wonder =(

i feel something, i know u oso feel the same way.

so fast i sent her back and now all i wan is her again. i wan her in my bed, air cond on, jz nice temperature, hug hug hug her to sleep, kiss kiss her to wonderland, make love all nite. the main thing is her just her is enuff to fil in my darkness. anyway yesterday wus soo nice. to bad that wus the last. =(

hmm at last got a chance to blog again...so lets see happen , came back fromgenting, super fun, dammm shee'ssoooooooo one of a kind... as usual la sometimes im happy and sometimes in sad, what to do i've already choose this way, i know this will eventually come to me, but its ok as i told her jz now i will continue to love her no matter what happen...jz now i wanted to tell her alot of things, but she's tired so let her sleep.... shes going for sabah for another month ryd. haiz... really sad when u see someone u love goin to another place where u here and shes there and she's with someone who can be with her. i know n i can prove my love for her is much more than anyone can... last nite she emo and she told me my fam cant accept her, she's is soo wrong n when i heard she said that my heart torn into pieces, cuz Y she must say that !! i soo damm sad... of coz my fam will accept, even if they dont accept i still dont care! but i know they will accept...i dont knowla what on her mind,,, sometimes i really feel left out , i feel i dont exist for her... i dont know.. all i know when this feeling hit me, i dont feel good, and i jz feel like commiting suicide. alot time d i dream i get soo sad and jump down from rooftop.. but as soon as i hit the floor i awake by my dream. sometimes i really want that to happen. but i dont know when its really gonna happen...haiz.. i dono what to do acctually no one can help me... my only listener oso is andy, and alot of things i cant tell him cuz i like to keep it personal.... dun think soo much la... the more i think the more heart pain,... this is her last week here better make the best out of it. later den i can emo,... cuz i cannot n will not contact her. i dowan to cause any problem for her there...someone jz shooooot me in my head!!!!!!!!!!!!!

jz come back from genting with dj's2u team. very nice. sweet. jz not much privacy. hope to bring her alone sumtimes. she sleep oso so nice. heheheh and yes im the champion!