i got highly stress because of this . need to forget about this

saw her msg say she miss him want to see him so much.... wtf.

i dont know whatz wrong wid me or whatz wrong wit the world... sick

siting here at 5 am nothing to do thinking about life and how its gonna be... damm dissapointed in my life, thinking how how the future would be in mylife 10 years from now... would i succeed in life. would i gain my dreams? would i gain my empire of my dreams? to have a big house....to have a big house which surrounded with nice green grass with nice sunflowers surrounded it...i know if i work really hard, if i appreaciate everdrops of sweat of coz i know. money buys everything..but money dont buy me something what i really want now... i know i cant get something that i want now. thats why im always down now.... i came to a point that if i cant really get her den it's ok i'll jz accept the failure in me. i will try hard to get her. i will never give up on here...even she tells me i got no single chance on her i will still be he good fren call her bring her out n have fun...but i think i cant do it cz i will hurt her more n its painfull i know.....so hard la... how? lidat la den how summore.

sad sad sad sad sad...so sad. n im sick with my ear!

does she think of me? i wonder =(

i feel something, i know u oso feel the same way.

so fast i sent her back and now all i wan is her again. i wan her in my bed, air cond on, jz nice temperature, hug hug hug her to sleep, kiss kiss her to wonderland, make love all nite. the main thing is her just her is enuff to fil in my darkness. anyway yesterday wus soo nice. to bad that wus the last. =(

hmm at last got a chance to blog again...so lets see happen , came back fromgenting, super fun, dammm shee'ssoooooooo one of a kind... as usual la sometimes im happy and sometimes in sad, what to do i've already choose this way, i know this will eventually come to me, but its ok as i told her jz now i will continue to love her no matter what happen...jz now i wanted to tell her alot of things, but she's tired so let her sleep.... shes going for sabah for another month ryd. haiz... really sad when u see someone u love goin to another place where u here and shes there and she's with someone who can be with her. i know n i can prove my love for her is much more than anyone can... last nite she emo and she told me my fam cant accept her, she's is soo wrong n when i heard she said that my heart torn into pieces, cuz Y she must say that !! i soo damm sad... of coz my fam will accept, even if they dont accept i still dont care! but i know they will accept...i dont knowla what on her mind,,, sometimes i really feel left out , i feel i dont exist for her... i dont know.. all i know when this feeling hit me, i dont feel good, and i jz feel like commiting suicide. alot time d i dream i get soo sad and jump down from rooftop.. but as soon as i hit the floor i awake by my dream. sometimes i really want that to happen. but i dont know when its really gonna happen...haiz.. i dono what to do acctually no one can help me... my only listener oso is andy, and alot of things i cant tell him cuz i like to keep it personal.... dun think soo much la... the more i think the more heart pain,... this is her last week here better make the best out of it. later den i can emo,... cuz i cannot n will not contact her. i dowan to cause any problem for her there...someone jz shooooot me in my head!!!!!!!!!!!!!

jz come back from genting with dj's2u team. very nice. sweet. jz not much privacy. hope to bring her alone sumtimes. she sleep oso so nice. heheheh and yes im the champion!

balik balik bf bf bf ....haiz.... lazy to listen ... heart pain .

she asked me to think of her in whatever i do, but jz now i saw her fb that her jay koh is missing. so happy. n thats doesnt make my day~ haih. im like loving a gurl who has no feeling for me or even taking care of my feelings. i cant blame her. thats all. still feel like screaming!

what makes him so much better den me? well , damm ure one lucky guy.

how? how ? see i told you already.... if u act like ur self she will think something wrong... hmmm how ah? sleep den maybe will get the answer by dreaming...

haiz,,, i jz feel that i can share my feelings to the whole world now, im sad and down, i feel like screaming it out loud till my lungs burst out of this tired body.... sadly i have no one....no one to talk to.. all i can do is jz try to overcome it myself.... y ME!!!!!! its not fair!!!!! i wanna scream out loud!!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

hmmm i wanna watch porn oso no moood!!!! im in the Love/emo mode now!!!! i feel like crying @@

Hari ini, sama sahaja seperti hari lain-lain didalam dunia ku sheldon tay. Masih terang lagi wajah anggun wahai permaisuriku didalam pemikiranku. Aku tidak akan tahu apa akan terjadi jikalau suatu hari nanti, jikalau aku kehilang mu dari sisiku. Perasaan ingin tahu and perasaan keseksaan masih menjenguk ku hari hari tanpa gagal, aku pernah merasainya dari awal dulu bila aku mempunyai bekas teman .Pengalaman mengajarku jangan mudah meluahkan isi hatiku,tapi bila ia melamarku senyuman ayumu hatiku luas terbuka,yang kuidamkan musnah......yang kugenggam terpisah. Haiz...
Aku pernah, jatuh cinta...kerana cinta diriku merana..aku pernah bahagia...kata manisnya buat ku terpedaya.Biarkan aku temankan pilu....
Haruskah cinta oh kejam padaku ?????


Kini mula ku terasakan degupan hatiku mula rasa oh gelisah
kehadiranMU ku mengharapkan akan menghilangkan kegelapan di hidupku
KAU yang seharus yang PERTAMA agar terakhir SELAMANYA......
Yang ku lupa, kisah yang lalu dan akan ku gubah oh hidup yang baru

Kisah yang lama mengajar aku
Agar bahagia hidup bersamamu

Yang aku cinta,.....


Amy.

came back suddenly emo, one is because no one in my room, shannon is missing. 2nd is i listen alot of emo songs on the way back meaning sumting like " love is gone" hmm i wonder whether she still remember my poem i wrote for specially for her.

When we're not together
my thoughts drift alongside
memories of you .....
Things we've done
the way you smile so brightly
that helps me forget my worries
and celebrate our wonders.

When we're not together
my moods come into play more often
and make me week as the days goes by
I feel in you
the security I find in your eyes

When we're not together
I sometimes feel so very alone,
for myself and you ...
i cant see you,
i cant mms you,
i cant text you...
all that i can do is listen to ur fav songs/ur pics
and wonder myself to wonderland.

When we're not together ...
my best wishes still go with you always,
wishing to share in your exitements
wanting to comfort your hurts
needing to be reassured that
you're keeping warm and well

When we're not together...
I seem to spend my time
wishing that we were.

dont know y i got this feeling me someday she will go far far away and i will loose her.... i dont know Y Im FEELING THIS WAY!!! WAKE UP SHELDON TAY!

Time run like lightning, in awhile my bro is leaving to KL with my sis and her bf. hmmm dammm gonna miss that small rascal!!!! so far its been like that. JUST nice in everything for me. sometimes down as well, well i'm not perfect yea. alot of things to think about. need to find more solid jobs offer. hope to get Kallu's call about the new club and YEAH! im gonna play for CELCOM X-PAX! fasta fasta congrats me!!!! *claps* heheheh they jz say la but hopefully everything goes well for me.

im still in the love mode. cant get you outta my head! =) 0664 <3 6660

Well as usual i cant sleep due to my Insomnia Sickness.Everyone taught it's just me when i say i can't sleep. Truth is, I went to visit Dr.Tan and he told me i really have this and have to take sleeping pills. That's too bad for a guy like me, I'm only 22, i have so much problems to think of, my welfare of my family, 2nd i have a car to pay, house bills, dads car, my skin infection, my ear is gonna go deaf soon! and now another issue is my bro is going up KL to pursue his studies. He wants to be a teacher. Well I'm happy for him, we always argue when we were young now i finally realize that this small brother of mine has grown into a fine young man. You are going up KL this Friday and I'm sure I'm gonna miss the good old days we had. All the best there, I <3 You Shannon Tay.


I have to work hard to make things for my family easier. Maybe i made a mistake by not finishing my studies, but what can i do? as a guy in this family i cant afford to use up all my mom's saving. I don't know what's my future awaits me. All i know is for now I'm a DJ , my basic pay is 2k. & i got few students where i can earn my extra pocket money from. I just need someone to show me the correct way, or i can say YOU up there, please please show me the correct way, i don't care whether its hard work, all i want is peace and happiness when my work is done.

Dammit, this month i really wanna buy a lot of stuff, but i just need to save. HELLO I'm 22 this year. i got ONLY 8 more years b4 i turned 30! damn the time passes us by really fast! Talking about time passes us by...yea it's been already 9 month i knew her, well she's really one of a kind. i love her is just because who she is. i don't care where she came from or what, "when you attracted to a girl, then you're just attracted" I really find this one of a kind girl really different. 9 months and she still don't trust me hahahaha! maybe she's been through with this kinda problems before, i don't know" hahah lol, all i think to make her believe me is TIME, yea TIME will tell out everything. For me, i have no one in my mind accept her, all i do n all i does is her. She is my priority now. maybe one day if i lost contact with her i still will put her first when she needs me. Right now i can't do anything, maybe if one day i lost contact with her, i only hope that she remembers me till the very last day the earth stood.I wanna share with you so much more, if there's chances between me and you, i promise you that you will take a ride with me over the moon, we will come down sliding on the rainbows, sail across the oceans, watch the sun rise till the break of dawn, and the most important thing is that you will always be love and my love increases every day for you . You make it real for me.


Goodnight Sheldon Tay.

hey. i am sheldon gerard tay. this is my true story. the chapters of my life.


well today is the day that im gonna start writing about myself and my daily life routine as usual i kept her company throughout the night. wanted to tickle n kiss her alot but i was afraid that i will keep her up n not sleeping throughout the night. she's a real sleeping princess . although i have my past. its not as wonderful and magical as her. anyways that's all for today. i shall stop here and awaits the next thing for tomorrow.

goodnight. i miss you so.